Ahhh, the days of weekly blogging are sooooo over. The boys are a month old now and I am still in survival mode! I expect this to last awhile, like maybe 3 years....or 18. :)
They had a doctor's checkup today. By the way, at our first appointment it was a rude awakening when we paid two copays and filled out 2 giant books of paperwork! There is going to be 2 of everything from now on! Anyway,they are perfectly healthy except my sweet Henry has a slightly misshapen head. Might have something to do with him dropping so low so early in my pregnancy! We are going to see how things are looking at the 2 month appointment and if they haven't improved, then he will have to be fitted for a helmet. Yes, (gasp!!) a helmet. My baby will have to be one of those kids that everyone feels sorry for. But I don't want him to have a wacky head and not be able to wear hats. The doctor said its not cheap - like 2 or 3 grand and usually not covered by insurance. They are usually worn 6 - 8 weeks. So that was unpleasant news. But there is much worse news to hear at the doctor's office and I thank God every day for my healthy babies! When Charlie and Henry are 15 years old and fighting over the same girl, Charlie can bust out the helmet pictures and have an advantage and we can all have a laugh. Well, everyone but Henry I suppose.
Henry weighed in at 8 lbs, 14 oz and 20 1/4 inches. Charlie weighed 7 lbs, 3 oz and is 19 3/4 inches. They are growing beautifully. In fact, I must say Henry is actually looking a little chubby these days. He is kind of built like a little football player and he grunts a lot. Don't let appearances fool you though because is so super cuddly and sweet. Charlie is much smaller, very wide eyed and alert and more calm than his big brother. Also, incredibly cuddly. I can already tell he looks up to Henry. He snuggles up to him when they are sleeping and follows his lead on when to cry. They are just so cute I can't stand it!!!
I am still breastfeeding but its wearing me out! It was a breeze with Harrison. This time around is so much harder though. I was unable to get Charlie to successfully latch (long story) so I pump for him. I breastfeed or give a pumped bottle to Henry while also giving a pumped bottle to Charlie (one in each hand propped up on nursing pillows - very tricky) OR feed them one after another or go back and forth. THEN pump. And this is every 3 hours, round the clock. Its about 8 - 10 hours per day just dedicated to feeding/pumping. Of course when Adam is here, he feeds one baby. Its especially hard during the day when I am also entertaining and trying to keep Harrison alive and happy. As I am feeding both babies, I usually have a book or giant wooden puzzle plopped in my lap. When I have to turn down his request, sometimes it can turn into an all out tantrum. Its what my nightmares are made of. A few weeks ago when I was still dealing with the hormonal changes (baby blues) and major pain from the c-section coupled with the daze I was in from percoset (oh yeah and sleep deprivation), Harrison went on a rampage. Emptying trash cans, slamming doors, trying to walk out of the house, hitting....I just lost it and sobbed. But that kind of behavior has been few and far between, thank goodness. And my body is adjusting to the lack of sleep, I am weaning myself from the drugs (although unfortunately the pain is still there) and the hormones are pretty much back to normal. Harrison is adjusting to the boys and I think sometimes he really actually likes them. All of our neighbors got together and bring us dinner every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It seems like they all have little girls and come along when they deliver dinner. Harrison has been in heaven because of this!
I do realize that I can't do all of this all by myself. There just isn't enough of me to go around. When I am pumping, I am wishing I am holding the babies. Sometimes I barely have time to hold them all day! When I am feeding the babies, I am missing being with Harrison. So first of all, we have the housekeeper coming 3 times per week now instead of 1. He helps with laundry, dishes, you name it. I am also talking to our pediatricians daughter about coming over twice a week for a half day to help. She will play with Harrison, help feed the babies, diapers, etc. And finally I think I am going to have to let go of this dream of breastfeeding the twins for a year and supplement. I don't have a plan yet, but I have to free up some time. Its more important for them to have more time with their mama than 100% breastmilk. Its a tough call to make but I know its best for everyone. I have to look at this new adventure as a marathon. Its going to be work, work, work and I am constantly going to be looking for solutions but I know its going to get better and I will figure things out.
As horrible and grueling as some of this may sound, I am completely in love with these boys and can't imagine life without them! Only the love for your children can get a mama through this kind of madness! And I know it will all pass so fast and I will look back on these days and miss them :)
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